Old Skewl Digitization of New Skewl Thoughts

Subtitled:  Too lazy to retype so scan.  I could reframe it as preserving the handwriting I so terrifying learned from my elementary school Principal, Mr. Reasnor.  Holy scary Frankenstein looking fuck walking around that 5th grade classroom teaching us proper penmanship.  Sorry old guy, I've bastardized it over the years...

The fancy leather-like bedazzled composition notebook:

The first official entry:

P.S.  Tell Delani and all the Lisa/Libra combinations that things are gonna be OK.  

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So about that Bucket List...

Fuck fuck fuck turns out I DO have something I'd like to do before I kick the bucket.  Hold on, is that why it's called a Bucket List?  

It all began when I told my now completely adult baby that I had always wanted to visit the Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria, Germany.  Which started an avalanche of ideas and events that might give me a reason to NOT get Covid-19 and die already...

...of which will be revealed in an appropriate timeline.  

For now, enjoy the list of "shit I still got to say" that my junior high thru present friend, Laurie, MADE me do when my brain was racing and life had turned way too South for me...but just West enough.  If any sound particularly fun to any reader (if I ever pimp this out) just let me know.  

Random AF.  That's the way (uh-huh-uh-huh) I like it.  

Every Sneeze is Precious

Every sneeze reminds me of two stark realities:

1.  I am very much alive at this moment.
2.  A deadly infection could be brewing in me and those around me, we've never lived this and anyone can be dead in 48 hours.

Wheeeeee what a way to put ones past vajayjay gushings into perspective.  And to remind one that each human is equal to every other human on this planet when it comes to sudden, unexpected death.

So, this is not intended to be morbid amidst a very morbid global pandemic called COVID-19, but rather a check-list of final details in case it takes me out quickly as a 56-year-old smoker. 

• LAST Will & Testament.  Is created and shared in my g-docs.  Because it's a pandemic, it will not be notarized but still should suffice as guidance for my limited wealth.
• DNR order.  Just give the ventilator to someone who hasn't chosen to smoke a pack a day for over 35 years.  And continues because damage done and I prefer to snuff out quickly instead of slowly, trying to yank the tube out...NOT because of the damn economy.
• BUDGET.  Fuck it. Paid rent over health insurance this month with no promise of future income beyond the part-time gig taking care of my disabled best friend.  Luckily, life handed me extreme poverty and isolation 6 years ago and the view from the one room that houses all my belongings is spectacular.
• LESSONS to my boys.  Time to dig deep and see if there are any lessons or deep dark secrets I must pass on NOW.  As in tonight in a video call and later here if given time and the right mood...
• CREATE every last day.  Got the electric violin going last night, and am writing right the fuck now, so bonus.   

As I have no bucket list left..sneeze on, humans.  

NVMND, no cooter gushing here after all.

Drafted in June of 2019:

Due to extreme lack of self-interest, I have decided not to relive the past here.  It is safe on this old lappy, where it will die with me, and thusly not bore myself and others with rehashing it over and over and over into perpetuity.

I have healed and need to act like it.  Yes, I have a right to feel victimized, but in the continued journey of reprogramming my brain neuro-pathways, this effort will pick up with THE NOW and will only use THE PAST in flashback form if necessary for plot and character development in THE FUTURE.

Instead, I have challenged myself with coming up with a skimmable, 140-character-or-less description, with links, of every year that I was truly AFK (Away From Keyboard) and focusing instead on basic survival:

June 26, 2010:  Last Thresholds THREE entry...first Thresholds just published, still teaching in Iowa, still married...still in the proverbial pot closet.

Rest of 2010:  due to anti-depressants and denial, I can't remember much.

2011:  Oct - Dec...the demise of the career.  Evidently you cannot talk about cannabis in Iowa.

2012:  Libra comes out the closet ( boston youtube links, etc)

2013:  Turned 50 in Oct..., had RV (710 cup before that)...but by Thanksgiving was in Denver with sick kid, and enter Robb and Dec MMJ card.

2014:  Jan Colorado full legalization...poor in Denver...Decide in Feb to divorce and stay put...by June I'm budtending in Mountain... (russ's just got badged youtube link on TTR,)move by AUG for Quincy's schooling.)

Divorced...

2015:  two dispo's, low wage, mop and back and wow, relocate kid even further up mountain

2016:  third dispo, p/t medical budtender, turned full on MGR by OCT...

2017: MGR working 80 hours a week and they sucked the fun out of pot.

November 29, 2017:  First quick post as legal Budtender...single in Colorado.

2018:  New goal, ski bum, tourist first season at Loveland

2019:  I SKI!  Summer photog gig works out, so i can now maybe move on to the resurrection of STK in May of 2019.  GAVE THIS all up when found great summer gig.  started to breathe...

March 19, 2020 UPDATE when I found this draft hanging out unpublished:

2020:  COVID 19 Pandemic makes this all seem rather silly now. 

End draft, end rant.  No final version needed.  Next entry will be non-morbid lessons to my Sons.

I think I can I think I can...let it all go.

An epiphany of sorts by the creek:

The Moment I May Have Let It All Go

Next steps are unscripted and unplanned.  Worst case scenario?  I keel over on a mountain or into a river.  S'all gravy, my friends...all gravy.

Well Hello Old Friends, and Welcome to The New.

It's been awhile since I've logged on to these blogs.  The next post will explain why with some painful posts that have only existed on my 10-year-old laptop, the beauty macbook pro I bought after the house fire.  Guess if I could define a single event that shaped it all, it would be that.  Read all about it in Thresholds: Offline (link in bio.)

Anyhoo, that journey has been painful and beautiful, as most journeys are.  Not particularly sexy nor noteworthy, but my journey nonetheless.  Avoid the next post if you don't wanna hear my va-jay-jay gush...I know it's gonna make me bawl reliving it to get it all here, but I'm a hormonal shit-show most days.  Fewer days recently though...perhaps I chose the "right" path and that I did actually choose it?

OK.  Links follow to the social media I've started for "Storyteller Kitty Time."  It's a venture I brainstormed up last summer while on unemployment and being rejected for most "normal" jobs commensurate with my skills and experiences, with the effervescent Ms. Charlo Greene as my tutor.

You know, the "Fuck it, I quit" Alaskan News Anchor who nearly lost it all while amassing an online empire?  Yeah, she and so many other bitchin' Pot Activists have formed a part of me that can now comfortably co-exist with paying seasonal tourist gigs while I get healthier and healthier as I consume Cannabis products responsibly and manage most pains and moods, legally.

So, catch anything that might follow from this blog to a podcast to who knows what.  LINKS:

Facebook, if you must:

STK on facebook

Instagram (most likely will become the main account, with a twitter to follow):

STK on Instagram

NOW, if you'd like to join me in a little prescribed reading journey to do our homework for Storyteller Kitty Time, the threshold blogs go in this order and can be found here.  I've got the first two published, have one copy of each but they can be found on the nets, but are here for free:

1.  Thresholds and Other Ruminations

thresholdsandotherruminations

2.  Thresholds: Offline

thresholdsoffline

3.  Thresholds Three (unpublished heretofore)

thresholdsthree

FINAL DISCLAIMER:  Fuck your bifurcated First Amendment rights, you-know-who-you-are.  I will not hide to protect you or shut the fuck up any more.